Thursday, May 29, 2008

Yup, they're still out there

There's this man. He's pretty well known around here because he used to write a column for the daily paper in town. He was asked to stop writing that column, for reasons that will soon become apparent, but he still writes frequent letters to the editor of that paper and ours.

Let's call this man George.

George is a weasely, bearded, wild-eyed man in a wheelchair who hates liberals almost as much as he hates women. George is also a lunatic. For example: Last fall George came into the office and started screaming that working mothers are ruining the world. I made the mistake of giving him lip, so he latched onto my arm and gave me a piece of his mind. (He was stronger than I expected, what with the wheelchair and all.) I stared at him, slack-jawed and horrified, as he spit out, "Day care ... is no substitute ... for mom!!"

This is the kind of stuff I deal with. Anyway.

George wrote a letter to the editor recently about that I.T. director that I blogged about some time ago. His letter was too long, so I shortened it. As a courtesy, my boss (a man) emailed George the edited version for his approval.

George called and congratulated my boss on doing an "excellent" job with the edits. My boss corrected him, explaining that it was actually me who did the edits. George then informed my boss that the edits suck and never to let a woman touch his letters again.

They hang up. Moments later, George sends my boss an email, proclaiming, "You may as well have signed (the letter) "Sarah O-"; the way she trimmed it up and feminized it, there was little of me left!"

So take note, folks. These men still exist.

But this softens the blow a bit. A few months ago I was perusing Stockton CraigsList (yes, there is such a thing - and, while ill-attended, it's an absolutely fascinating read) and came across this M4W post from a 50-year-old Mantecan.

"If you're reading this, you've at least got a sense of humor and that's good. Let's get right down to brass tacks. It goes in this order: sex first then friendship may follow and finally, if we're blest, love. You should have ample tittage and an enjoyable derriere; want to sit on my face, right away; be intelligent enough to carry on a conversation with understanding of history; like movies, old and new; be a decent cook. Not only should feminists not apply, but you should loathe feminism and abhor the travesty of radical feminism! If you want your ass and tits sucked and the possibility of an interesting friendship, please reply."

This is George. A hundred percent. There's not a doubt in my mind.

Having this little nugget tucked away in the back of my mind has made my occasional run-ins with this piece of shit just a little more tolerable. Because if ever again he latches on to my arm and starts spewing his masogynist rant, I'll know it's at least partly because George ain't gettin' any.

3 comments:

Banana Phones' Ring Tones' Jones said...

'Tittage?'

Also, how the fuck do you suck an ass.

Anonymous said...

I guess this answers my question as to whether or not he's single. And they say all the good ones are taken!

Tim said...

Ok -- please tell me you replied to his post and strung him on a little bit. Have you ever thought that you could be the woman to tame this man's heart? Maybe he is what you have been looking for -- a crippled misogynist.