Thursday, May 8, 2008


I'm having a problem with ants near my computer. I think they live in the wall, and they climb up onto the table where i keep my laptop. I'd seen a few before, but didn't realize how bad it was until I picked up my laptop last night and noticed five ants running in freaked out, manic circles on the back of it.

I don't like killing things, not even ants. But the killing has begun.

I cleared all the papers and whatnot off the table and a whole bunch of the suckers started scurrying away from me. I smashed them with a balled up paper towel, feeling like a big vicious giant. I apologized with each squashing, as if it mattered.

Now I keep picturing the survivors all huddled up in the wall somewhere, swapping tales about "the massacre" and drawing straws for who is going to venture out to look for the missing.

When they do brave their way out, the poor things look pitiful. They're poking their little ant heads this way and that, calling for their mothers. I feel terrible. Because guess what, little guy? Your mother's dead.

Then I kill them, too, but this feels like pity killing, because now they can go reunite with their fallen brothers and sisters in ant heaven. If they believe in that kind of thing.


Eden From Sweden said...

Ha! Maybe you should chant a little prayer for them, too, mid-squish. I wonder what Ant Heaven looks like...mountains of crumbled cookies and fallen hot dogs on a golden sidewalk?

How about starting an ant farm? Then it would only be a matter of relocation, and you could put the buggers to work doing your bidding. If your bidding is tunnels in dirt.

sharon.horowitz said...

Sarah, have you become a Buddhist since college? I mean, call me heartless but THEY'RE ANTS (and in your home)!

Eden From Sweden said...

Sarah's not a Buddhist, unless there's some extreme bacon-eating branch of Buddhists I'm not aware of...

Sarah said...

What if I apologize profusely while eating bacon? Then can I be Buddhist?